improvised chortle (If you dress nicely, he says you're a snob. If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut. If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you're quiet, he says you don't care. If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If you don't love him, he'll try to win you over. If you do love him, he'll leave you. If you don't do it with him, he'll say you're a tease. If you do, he'll say you're easy. If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't he'll say you don't trust him. If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks it, he had to. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. If he does, he expects to be given another chance.)